Living in Limbo
This is our final week as an intentional community and my plan is seemingly in shambles. At the beginning of this year, I remember asking last year’s dwellers what their plans were now that their year is over. One of the women shrugged her shoulders, responded with vague plans and an I don’t know, and proceeded to laugh it off as if it was no big deal. In shock, I looked at her confused judging her lack of preparedness. Now, ironically, I am walking in her shoes. I have no job, no place to live, and no idea what comes next. Feeling the conviction of needing to stay in LA, I’ve been in job search mode for a few months and have attempted to network a few potential living situations. I am stressed, worn out, and feeling a little helpless. I’m forced to lean into God knowing that it will eventually all work itself out. Living in limbo leaves me no choice. I’ve never not had a plan. The foreign concept of flying by the seat of my pants stretches me. I am trying to appreciate this time of transition and embracing the feelings of doubt, fear, and panic that force my spirit to surrender to the power of God’s will. Do I like not knowing, not having a plan? Ha! Of course not! I long for understanding. There is a certain joy that manifests when things fall into place. Like God’s plan and my situation have aligned affirming that things are okay–I’m on the right track.